I have been working with many people lately who identify themselves as "non-religious" and have problems with addictions. Since the root of addictions is often a spiritual issue, how does one resolve these issues without becoming religious?
Truly many people with addictions are put off by getting help, because they have heard that there is a spiritual element to recovery, and they do not feel that they can function within a spiritual framework. Some of the reasons that people with addictions feel strongly about this include:
* Not having a religious background, and feeling uninformed about religion and spirituality.
* Feeling that religion is about controlling people, and not wanting to be controlled or to be part of an approach that controls others.
* Recognizing the role of religions in war and other atrocities, and not wanting to be associated with them.
* Being an atheist -- believing that there is no God.
* Being agnostic -- believing that there is no way of knowing whether God exists, so it is hypocritical to pretend you know that there is a God.
* Having had an unpleasant or abusive experience with a member of a church or religious organization, particularly if they were in a leadership position.
* Having experienced or witnessed such severe abuse, pain or suffering, that the idea of a God who could have prevented this makes no sense in any positive way.
* Feeling uncomfortable with the idea that some religious doctrines associate human suffering with past failings or wrongdoings, and are somehow "deserved."
These are all valid reasons for rejecting or refusing involvement in a religious organization. But they do not, in themselves, exclude the person from discovering their own spiritual path. Many people are able to connect their spiritual path with an organized religion, but many others do not require a "religion."
So If Spirituality Is Not the Same as Religion, What Is it?
Spirituality is part of the human experience in which we explore who we are and what our life is about. This can include some of the following:
* Getting in touch with your own moral compass -- a way of knowing what is right and what is wrong according to your own beliefs and principles. These beliefs do not need to be handed to you by a religion, you can discover them by exploring your own thoughts and feelings.
* Learning to use your moral compass as a guide for how to live your life. For example, if you believe it is wrong to lie, finding ways to live more truthfully.
* Respecting yourself and others. People who grow up in abusive situations may find this difficult, but ultimately very fulfilling when they achieve it.
* Getting perspective on your problems. This includes recognizing that it is possible to improve your situation with willpower and support.
* Realizing that we all have human weaknesses, and letting go of pride that may be getting in the way of asking for help if you need it.
* Receiving and giving support to others.
Taking it Further
While these are spiritual activities that can help enormously with most people who are working on overcoming addictions, there are other spiritual activities that a smaller number of people are able to engage in. They are not essential to the recovery process, but may lead to a happier life.
* Discovering your unique gifts and talents, and creating a life that uses them.
* Forgiving people who hurt or abused you in the past.
* Seeking forgiveness from others.
* Gaining new insights -- "learning" from your experiences of addiction.
* "Giving back" to the community, for example, volunteering or working in the addictions field or related areas.
2 comments:
I just read your blog and I know I have always considered myself spiritual. I am not sure what I am, I just don't believe in organized religion. There are many things about religion that I don't talk about because of that skepticism I have. I want to truly say the truth, the only reason why I ever went on a mission was because of what I promised God so I could no longer be attracted to men. I have said before that I was a hypocrite and I was because I never ever believed the church was true. I felt like a parrot, mimicking thing I never believed to be true to hide the truth I never believed. I even studied the scriptures to hide how I really felt inside.
When all those things terrible things happened to me in the last few years, I left the church. Leaving the church wasn't because of that victim thing, it was because I don't believe nor belong in something I don't believe. I know I believe in a God, Jesus Christ and Holy Ghost idea, that is something I was able to believe as a child but that is as far as I believe.
I feel as if I am agnostic. I can't deny God but I doubt many things about God. I can't explain my true feelings about it because I am still not sure. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to end the thought of publishing my book. How could I promote God in my book if I really did not know God existed in my own life? When everything in my life went to a disastrous point in life last year, I thought I knew God but everything I went through started a quest inside. I had so many doubts and question and that halted the production of my book.
I came to realize that I don’t believe in religion at all but I do believe in a personal relationship with God. Because of my feelings about God and everything, it makes me question many things. That is why I am not sure what I am and I don’t know if I am agnostic or not. I have a belief that I hold onto, but it isn’t solid, whether this makes me religious or not that is not why I am posting.
I do believe I am spiritual in some ways. I do believe in meditation can help bring spirituality. Not too long ago I felt the spirit so strong after one of my meditations and it connected to my intuition in some ways. I know that after struggling with many aspects of spirituality in my life, I have found meditations as a great tool in my life.
So what am I? Am I Agnostic or a Spiritual something? Could it be there is something out there called, “Spiritual Agnostic?”
I know I have some major issues with God. I feel like God doesn't care about me as in what I do, or what relationship I am in. Yet there are days when I feel like he doesn't answer my prayers because my trials never get light. I know...time will help me fix this. Some days I just don’t want anything to do with a personal relationship with God and yet I use God, Jesus to help me with my trials. As I say, I don't know what I am. I wouldn’t have posted this because I am way too guarded about sharing this and have others see this. Even admitting I have some reservations about God or religion has been a very……quiet topic for me even in therapy.
I have found out that I am not the only one who feels the way I do. I have talked to a few people who never believed in the church or never believe in religion. They still believe in some God but are very unsure about things. They served missions as well. I guess it is easy to be skeptical and not believe in something and walk away. I just have a hard time believing in something I can't believe in. Yet I do believe all of us can have a form of spirituality, I found mine through meditation.
One of my person thoughts that helped me relax about God and not push me further away from God knows that he does not care. God does not care what I do in this life, because if he did, then more shame piles on what I do. I figure that if God doesn’t care what I do, the only thing that matters is his love for me. I don’t know if this makes much sense, but his is like what makes it easier to have a personal relationship with Him. If God doesn’t care, then he is okay with me. He is okay with whatever mistakes I have made, because they are just mistakes. The spirituality inside that grows from that personal relationship should help me learn from those mistakes and progress even further than I have before, and it has.
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