All over the news we have heard of the recent sex abuse scandal at Penn State. There have also been recent allegations of sex abuse at Utah State. The schools struggle to restore the integrity of their school and athletic programs.
If you would have asked me 3 months ago what I thought about the Penn State incident, I would have thought about the football program. But, today, my answer would be so different. Why the change of heart?
I grew up in a loving LDS home. I was one of 7 children and I always believed that my childhood was PERFECT! I married young and had 4 beautiful children and truly believed that I was living the dream. I was trying to live a PERFECT life. We all know that life is not perfect, but I was going to do everything in my power to achieve it. Slowly my life became very overwhelming because I could not live up to my standards.
Thru the loving guidance of my LDS Bishop, I was referred to LDS Family Services where I met Jade.
I had been to a therapist before and she gave me ideas to help me handle the stress and sent me on my way. After my first visit with Jade he gave me homework and told me he would see me in a couple of weeks. I started with Healing the Child Within, pretty simple for a person that had such an awesome childhood right?
One Sunday after meeting with the Bishop to follow up with my homework, I still struggled with what I was to be learning. So, I prayed for answers. Nothing could have prepared me for the answer that I was about to receive. As I sat on my bed, memories of abuse at the hands of my brother came flooding into my mind. How could this be happening? Why was this happening? What happened to my perfect life?
I tell you this because after hearing about the situations at both Universities, all I could think of is how brave those victims were to come forward. So many times the victim becomes the one that gets put on trial. I can tell you from personal experience, those victims thought about every possible scenario that could be thrown at them. They questioned their own character and judgment; they didn’t need the press to do it for them.
I asked Jade to post this on his blog because this is all so new to me. I am still going thru all of the possible scenarios and have not told anyone in my family. I have started using EMDR to help process my memories. I wish I could tell you that it is the best thing I have ever done, and maybe when I am done, I can say that. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. Jade once told me to “Believe in the process!”
If you find yourself in an abusive situation, please find someone you trust and find the courage to get the help that you deserve. Trust is something that comes very difficult to someone that has been abused. “Believe in the process!”
2 comments:
To Jade’s client: Thank you for posting. I wanted to tell you that I truly understand what you’re saying. I read your words and I can read between the lines.
Sharing your reflections here took tremendous courage, even with anonymity.
You’re doing very difficult work. However, I know that when you are through the process, your shattered, perfect life will be whole again; and, you will be stronger than today.
It makes me sad that so many of us have experienced this type of abuse. Jade is right. Trust the process. It will be hard, but what a blessing to find the right people at the right time with the right tools. Things may seem dark, but there is light ahead.
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