In the next few weeks, I would like to investigate a few spiritual concerns which I have found to be major roadblocks in therapy. These concerns are: Death, Agency, Alienation and Purposelessness
1: Death
The writers of the Book of Mormon repeatedly taught that death through the fall was a necessary and foreseen part of the great plan of happiness and that "the way [to salvation] is prepared from the fall of man" (2 Ne. 2:4; see also Mosiah 4:7). Adam and Eve made necessary choices in the garden to allow death to enter the world and to further the divine plan "which was prepared from the foundation of the world" (Mosiah 15:19). Morover, Lehi instructed his son Jacob that "if Adam [and Eve] had not transgressed [they] would not have fallen, but [they] would have remained in the garden of Eden … And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin" (2 Ne. 2:22–23; see also Alma 12:22–24). And when we are to consider the purpose of the fall itself, it must be realized that it was a essential step to healing and eventual triumph over death, through Christ’s atonement. Fundamentally, the Fall was necessary for the atonement to be. Thus the Fall, leads to the Atonement, and the atonement leads us to eternal happiness—and for purposes of this blog—the answer to most mental illnesses. Lehi summarized: "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy" (2 Ne. 2:25). Much of this joy is found in the idea that our mortal life has an ending, thus encouraging us to seize the day of this life, to gain purpose essentially. However, for many the notion of death brings dread and/or avoidance-and why avoidance? Within us all, an itch is present. That itch is the idea that we really don’t know what happens to us after we die. Or at least, very few of us have experienced what lies ahead in the next life. Sure, many individuals have a firm belief in life after death—myself included. However, faith is necessary in this belief, and at times in this life faith can diminish. Faith does fluctuate, an in these ebbs of faith, we find this a crucial spiritual concern looming in the shadows: "Do we really go on, or is this life it?"
This idea of an ending to existence in what Irving Yalom described as an "existential ultimate concern" (Existential Psychotherapy, 1980), and truly this fear can be a driving force in dysfunction, if an understanding of the mission of Christ is not present.
And there is another type of death known in scripture as spiritual death. (See 2 Ne. 9:12; Alma 12:16; Alma 42:9; Hel. 14:16, 18.) It "is defined as a state of spiritual alienation from God." (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1954–56, 2:217.) Thus, one can be very much alive physically but dead spiritually.
Spiritual death is more likely to occur when we seek things of the world. As we start down that worldly path, a person can be lead to dire straits. Paul explained this concept to the Romans: "If ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live." (Rom. 8:13). If physical death occurs before recompense, the chance for repentance will have not come to fruition. And indeed, "the [real] sting of death is sin." (1 Cor. 15:56.) And with the "sting of death" which is sin, it can be seen that the spiritual concern of death is circular—a fear of death is a fear of the "sting of death", which is sin, which perpetuates the fear of death.
Death as an existential/therapeutic concern:
Existential fear has implications for psychotherapy, for this fear can explain many strange attitudes and behaviors found within a therapeutic relationship. One issue I have been faced with in therapy is the droves of individuals who have a debilitating delay in making a decision, i.e. "avoidance". And many of these clients I have found to have a peculiar kind avoidance—a death avoidance. Now, death avoidance and decision avoidance are a kin, for when we make a decision, that choice can be perceived as a catalyst which draws us closer to death, or ultimate ending.
Dave was a 38-year-old who came into counseling to resolve his sexual addiction and his inability to make commitments to women with whom he had been dating. He had been engaged to be married at least five times. In many ways Dave presented emotionally as a teenager. He had a brand new sports car and he wore "only the name brand" clothes. Dave essentially was avoiding growing up, he even identified his hero as "Peter Pan and Superman". It was discovered that Dave avoided decisions because he didn’t want to limit the options he could have made by making a decision… Essentially, by making a decision, he perceived that he was one step closer to death-thus, he avoided death by avoiding decisions. To Otto Rank, a person plagued with neurosis was one "who refused the loan (life) in order to avoid the payment of the debt (death)"
Specialness and Rescuer
Ernest Becker stated "The irony of man’s condition is that the deepest need is to be free of the anxiety of death and annihilation; but it is life itself which awakens it and so we must shrink from being alive". In his book "Existential Psychotherapy", Irvin Yalom describes two forms of death avoidance: "Specialness" and the need for an "Ultimate Rescuer". Specialness is a defense against death, especially when someone is faced with it [death]. A person who is dying, or has someone close to them who is dying, may begin to believe that in some way they are different and that death can not touch them, I have even heard once: "God will save me from this death… Maybe I will be translated" and the client wasn’t being facetious. But personal specialness can be more elusive as well: My client Dave, in his avoidance of death, created a shield of specialness around him. Although, he himself was not dying, nevertheless, he wanted nothing to do with aging. Robert Frost reflected: "Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee/And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me." At the end of treatment with Dave, when he was responsive towards his patterns, he stated that this quote by Robert Frost was his theme, but that he "merely wasn’t aware of it".
Fear of Death
There have been many writers on the subject of the fear of death, one such writer was Heidegger. He wrote of the fear of death as the "impossibility of further possibilities". Essentially, this was one of Dave’s issues. As stated previously, he didn’t want to limit his possibilities by making a decision, thus having an impossibility of further possibilities. Kierkegaard discussed these concepts explicitly throughout his writings. He discussed the fear of death as "non-being". Furthermore, Kierkegaard made a clear distinction between fear and anxiety; "he contrasted fear that is fear of some thing with dread (anxiety) that is fear of no thing" (Yalom, Existential Psychotherapy, 1980). Kierkegaard added "not—a nothing with which the individual has nothing to do." Once dreads becoming nothingness, and this anxiety does not have a location, it is almost a free floating dread. Rollo May states, "it attacks us from all sides at once—a fear that can neither be understood nor located cannot be confronted and becomes more terrible still" (May, The Meaning of Anxiety, 1977). So how does a person defend against a fear of "no-thing"? Well, you could avoid the subject all together and develop a perception of personal specialness, or look for someone to rescue you in a negative way, or the healthy options rally assistance from God to overcome it. Truly, faith is the polar opposite of fear and as a person displaces their fear for a faith in Christ, fear is extinguished.
Sin and death avoidance:
The writer of Ecclesiastes said, "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven… A time to be born, and a time to die." (Eccl. 3:1–2; see also Alma 12:27.) Spencer W. Kimball taught: "Death may be the opening of the door to opportunity. Of course, we are never quite ready for the change. Not knowing when it should come, we fight to retain our life. Yet we ought not to be afraid of death." (Spencer W. Kimball, "Friend to Friend: Tragedy or Destiny?," Friend, Apr 1974, 6). Everyone must die, but the tragedy is not found in the occurrence of death, only in the action of sin, again the "sting of death".
The Book of Mormon prophet, Alma reflected that through the Fall "all mankind became a lost and fallen people" (Alma 12:22). He expounded to his son Corianton that "as … the fall had brought upon all mankind a spiritual death as well as a temporal, that is, they were cut off from the presence of the Lord, it was expedient that mankind should be reclaimed from this spiritual death" (Alma 42:9; see also Alma 12:16, 32; Alma 40:26; Hel. 14:16). Again, we see that through the Fall, a need for an Atonement occurred. Only by and through Jesus Christ could one be reclaimed from both physical and spiritual death. And only through Jesus Christ and his Atonement for all of humankind could we stop avoiding the spiritual concern of death, and learn to gain mental wellness through a reliance on Him who is eager to save.
Gaining purpose from death
Eve, the great mother of us all, stated profoundly to Adam: "Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient." (Moses 5:11.)
Eve rejoiced in the Fall, and the knowledge that the mortal test had begun. Now, because of their transgression, children could be born. They could now experience all of the pain, yet all of the joy that could be known as they traveled up the road to exaltation. And they now could also know the profound impact of physical and spiritual death.
As with Eve, so Adam likewise, blessed with the gift of the Holy Ghost, "blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God." (Moses 5:10.)
Adam and Eve’s eyes were open as they contemplated the need for a Redeemer after their Fall. Similarily, when we realize the fragility of life itself we can gain spiritual insight and purpose. Moreover, our realization of the finite nature of life can lead us to change our lives, when confronted with the notion of spiritual and physical death. We have many literary allusions of this: The story of War and Peace is one example. In this work, Tolstoy, the character, Pierre feels the purposelessness of his life as a Russian aristocrat. The crux of the book occurs when Pierre, after searching for his purpose in life, is captured by Napoleon’s army and sentenced to death. After watching the execution of other men, and as he prepares himself to die, he is unrepentantly reprieved. This experience gives him the purpose he was looking for. Because he was faced with his death, he came to an awareness his meaning in life, and through giving himself more completely to relationships and attempting to effusively experience every moment of life, he lives the remainder of his life full of purpose.
Many of Tolstoy’s works had these themes of ultimate concern. In "The Death of Ivan Ilyich", Ivan is a relentless tyrant who develops a fatal illness. After his diagnosis and his realization that he was going to die, he spends the last remaining days of his life full of purpose, for he realizes "[I will] die badly because [I have] lived badly". Truly sin is living badly, and gaining purpose in life, especially through an understanding of the gospel, is to live life full of meaning.
The Atonement’s Answer:
Jacob rejoiced in the wisdom of the great plan of redemption over death as he exclaimed: "O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit" (2 Ne. 9:10; see also Hel. 14:17; Mosiah 15:19).
Even the Savior cannot save us in our sins. He will redeem us from our sins, but only upon condition of our repentance. We are responsible for our own spiritual survival or death. (See Rom. 8:13–14; Hel. 14:18; D&C 29:41–45.)
