Reflections on the Atonement and Grace

I had a client who was not a member of the LDS faith, ask me, "I don't get you Mormons... you think that you will be saved by works and not by faith!" I responded, "I believe in Grace". He then stated, "No you don't, you're religion never talks about it... they only talk about the works you can do". I reflected on this and thought, "I think we might just use another word more often to explain Grace--The Atonement". I have come to realize that in the Gospel, "works" refer to repentance, keeping the commandments, etc.. And why do we do these "works", so that the Savior can help us progress--but we need His Grace--there is no way we can do it on our own. He paid our debt by His infinite sacrifice--and now it is paid--our sins were paid in full nearly 2000 years ago, now all Christ requires of us is to progress a little each day so that we will want to be with Him again and grow into a charitable, merciful Christlike person who He knows we can become! I believe this doctrine is consistent with all of our other Christian brothers and sister. After explaining my understanding of "Grace", I told my client that "I do 'works', [e.g.] service, repentance, attempting to love everyone, etc., so that I can be a better person (which I feel is God's will for me)--not to earn my way to heaven, but to want heaven. I have realized that my works are mutually exclusive of grace, but my faith in Christ, my faith in the gift of Grace that He has given me--all that he has given me--increases as my behaviors become more like His behaviors, and I do works as He would do works." My client responded that his belief is actually the same. We came to a mutual understanding. As we do a little more, we become a little better. As we conform our life to gospel standards, we become more charitable. When we break commandments we become more selfish. No matter what religion we are, if we have charity, eventually (in this life or the next), our lives will begin to conform to gospel standards and we will be saved and gain Eternal Life--b/c we want it! As President Hinckley stated, "We must try a little harder everyday, to be a little better!" Always do your best, and when your best isn't as good as it was yesterday, keep trying, never give up and everything will be okay--this is the spirit of Grace. Christ doesn't make up the difference, He is the difference! ...Also, why do we do missionary work? So that the world can know how to have hope now and how to have a Celestial life in the present! We need to get the good news (the gospel) out there-- there are too many people lost in misery, with no hope and no purpose! I see it everyday in my profession.

Avoiding the Pitfall

I met with a cleint today who was struggling with the concept of hope. He stated that he felt that he would not make it to the Celestial World. Though he has made sacred covenants, completed his ordinances, and has been striving to live a good Christian life, he still felt that he wouldn't make it. I found that he was believing the distortions that the adversary was sending to him, because he had been filtering his life through the lense of shame. We processed how we keep the commandments of God to protect ourselves from the influence of the adversary--essentially to keep us from allowing the adversary to convince us that we are hopeless. When we sin, we give Satan the power to convince us that we are without hope, because when we transgress, he now has the evidence to convince us that we are hopeless (though this is a lie)--this is why we must repent immediately, so that we can tell Satan that he has an invalid argument. We must believe the Savior's words and works, we can all make it if we believe Him--more than just believe in Him and in his Atonement, but truly believe HIM!

Grace and Works

Concerning Grace verses works: the aspect of these principles which people don’t seem to understand is the fact that they are not mutually exclusive at all, they work in concert with each other—-you can’t have one without the other. You learn how to receive Grace, by the works you render. For instance, if you are service oriented, and think outside of yourself, you are always giving grace to others, thus you learn how to give grace to yourself and learn how to receive Grace from on High--which is always there for every one of Heavenly Father's children. It takes our works (obedience, sacrifice, service and consecration) to understand how to access spiritual gifts, such as Grace. The reason: When you help others, you see others as God sees them—-you then begin to understand that God sees you as you see others. And if you have charity (the pure love of Christ) and mercy towards your fellow men, you realize that Heavenly Father has the same view towards you—-and infinitely more! And then you begin to learn how to incorporate grace in your life, which will help you to overcome any emotional problem you may have suffered.

Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: "Looking Passed the Dark Glass" (section: Misconceptions)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, in his ground-breaking and healing Ensign article, titled “Helping Those who Struggle with Same Gender Attraction”, stated, “Same-gender attraction is not a sin, but acting on those feelings is.” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Helping Those Who Struggle with Same-Gender Attraction,” Liahona, Oct 2007, 40–43 ). This article and statement dispelled many misunderstandings that church members had about the nature of same-gender attraction, showing that attractions to the same-sex is not behavior, thus is can not be sin—however acting against the law of chastity through homosexual acts is a sin and frustrates the plan of happiness. The Quorum of the Twelve, with the First Presidency added to Elder Holland's remarks with their pamphlet “God Loveth His Children”. It proclaims, “You are a son or daughter of God, and our hearts reach out to you in warmth and affection. Notwithstanding your present same-gender attractions, you can be happy during this life, lead a morally clean life, perform meaningful service in the Church, enjoy full fellowship with your fellow Saints, and ultimately receive all the blessings of eternal life.” The pamphlet goes on to say, “A number of Latter-day Saints with same-gender attraction are moving forward with their lives by carefully adhering to gospel standards, staying close to the Lord, and obtaining ecclesiastical and professional help when needed. Their lives are rich and satisfying, and they can be assured that all the blessings of eternal life will ultimately be theirs.” (God Loveth His Children [Salt Lake City: Intellectual Reserve, 2007] 1,4.) There is hope and there is support. President Gordon B. Hinkley stated: “Our hearts reach out to those who struggle with feelings of affinity for the same gender. We remember you before the Lord, we sympathize with you, we regard you as our brothers and sisters” (“Stand Strong against the Wiles of the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 99) In their book, “Understanding Same-Sex Attraction”, Byrd, Cox, Dant, Dahle, Livingstone and Wells, state “Few subjects are as difficult to understand or as controversial as same-sex attraction... Viewpoints about it often fall into polar extremes... That is, it is seen as either a gross perversion or it is seen as an acceptable alternative to heterosexual attraction”(“Understanding Same-Sex Attraction”. Dahle, et. al., (2009) Foundation for Attraction Research, pg. 6) How true this is. As I have worked with countless client who have struggled with the heartbreak and frustration stemming from same-gender attraction, I have come to find that the individual, the family and the community around them, seem to greatly misunderstand same-gender attraction. An entire book could be written on the misconceptions of same-gender attraction, for more on this subject, please refer to the book referred to above: “Understanding Same-Sex Attraction”. A. Dean Byrd and his colleagues were phenomenal in their research and depth of the subject of same-gender attraction, along with the misconceptions of it. One final highlight from this book: The term gay in context of same-sex attraction is correctly defined as a sociopolitical identity assumed by individuals, both men and women, who have embraced their homosexual attractions as a core sense of self. Likewise, the term lesbian is an assumed sociopolitical identity but refers exclusively to women. These terms define people based on their sexual feelings and can incorrectly imply that same-sex attraction are innate physical characteristics on the order of being male or female. As a therapist I know of the damaging nature of labels. When one labels themselves, they have the tendency to live up to that label and the definitions which come with that label. What does it truly mean to be gay? The media has its definitions, and many with same-gender attraction are living up to that society-bound implied and explicit definition of who they are supposed to be. Labels are damaging, you are yourself, not so-and-so, the gay person.