I have been reading some existential thought and thought it would be appropriated to post my reflections on this blog (since it is called "existential abreaction"). Although most philosophers who tout themselves "existentialist" claim they are atheist, I believe that most of them are just bitter at God--for if you read between the lines of their writings, it seems very belief driven, especially with the concept of "being". This concept that I have been researching, "being", also know as "oneness" or "God's Will", is a type of surrender, along the lines of "when one loses themselves, they then find themselves". To "be" is to transcend a life of "to do lists". It is essentially to become who we really are--to achieve an understanding of our eternal potential, as children of God.
The Bible Dictionary has a very insightful description of "repentance". It states, "The Greek word of which this is the translation denotes a change of mind, i.e., a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world". I found this fascinating, for I have found that the idea of repentance has been misunderstood by many of the clients I have met with. Many individuals have the distorted view that repentance is tied to punishment, but repentance is tied to change and progress. As the bible dictionary alludes to, repentance is a change in perceptions--we perceive God, oneself and the world differently. Indeed, repentance is a paradigm shift--we abandon the old self and change ourselves anew!
To follow this idea of perception change further: Repentance is a "fresh view of God" because after the process of repentance, we see God in a new light. Oftentimes, people who are in error, blame God for their error. People will often hold resentment towards God when they sin. But when a person progresses passed the distortions of their self-oriented gratifications and delusions, which come with sin, they then wake up to the understanding that God has been beckoning them home all along. They then realize that God loves them infinitely! Then with this knowledge of God's love, they no longer want to sin. Christ stated "This is life Eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God..." (John 17:3) When we know God, we change and progress rapidly. Individuals only sin, because they have a lack of knowledge.
As a person repents, they also view themselves differently. The Apostle Paul stated "For now [with our mortal limitations] we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face [when we are face to face with God, and have become gods, we will see who we really are, that we are 'like him;, see 1 John 3:2, where we are told 'we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is'] now I know in part [now, I do not know all things]; but then shall I know even as also I am known [by God in celestial exaltation, see D&C 76:94]" (1 Corinthians 13:12, see also Ridges, your study of the new testament, p. 178). "In other words, via true doctrine, you must 'see' your potential, and that you and I have the potential" to become eternal and claim our birthright as children of God! (Ridges, 178) This can only occur when we let go of the self oriented perspective and seek "God's Will" and become one with Him, as Christ and the Holy Ghost are One with the Father. And this oneness, this unity can happen now. All a person needs to do is seek and find. Christ stated, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened". (Matt 7:7-8)
The fresh view about the world occurs as one repents, for we begin to see the distortions of the world, but also the good and potential of the world. And we also understand what will help our neighbors. A statement attributed to Ezra Taft Benson reflects this:
"The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of the people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behaviors, but Christ can change human nature."
I would add to the bible dictionary definition of repentance that repentance also gives us a greater perspective on the adversary. When we repent and light flows through us, we can discern truth and error and a much more effective level. The Holy Ghost enables us to better understand the darkness as well as the light. It is essential in this life that we understand Satan and what he is really trying to do to the whole human family.
We have been discussing much on the subject of what seeking "God's Will" through repentance can do for us, but what more can we do to gain this "fresh view" quickly? From partaking the sacrament worthily and renewing baptismal covenants, we can renew ourselves and detach from the deceptions of the adversary and the distortions of the world. How does this happen? The Sacrament enables us to have "His Spirit to be with us always" and if we have it with us always we can discern the fiery darts coming from the adversary--we can see through the mist of darkness and understand that the world [or the "great and spacious building" as seen in Lehi's dream, interpreted as "the pride, wisdom, and vain imaginations of the world" (1 Nephi 8:26, 11:35-36, 12:18)] is one big delusion. Seek out those things which will make you free!
How to we achieve "be-ing" and "oneness"? We must reconcile ourselves to God and become one with Him. We must transcend this world, shun promptings from a dark source and add light onto ourselves. And once we begin our journey of light, light will add onto the light. And "that which is of God is light; and he that recieveth light, and continueth in God, recieveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day." (Doctrine and Convenants 50:24)
7 comments:
I read this post at least six times before I even began to understand it and now I don’t want to stop. I feel the Spirit when I read it. I want to get to one-ness. I want to “be”. I am willing to surrender and I truly want to understand my eternal potential as a daughter of God. However, I’m not there. I’m further away than I was just two months ago. I just don’t feel anything.
I understand the steps to repentance but again its words: recognize that a divine law has been broken; experience Godly sorrow, a broken heart and contrite spirit; purge the sin from your life; confess and ask for forgiveness from Heavenly Father and the person who was wronged; replace or restore that which was lost; serve and forgive others. Those are the steps to repentance. Nothing I do has those words taking on meaning that I feel with my heart and soul. It’s like I’m going through the motions.
I’m beginning to think that I sin all the time. I read my scriptures but I’m not diligent in my studies. I forget to pray for President Monson. My biggest sin is with my job; I’m not doing my best. I overeat and make it impossible for the Spirit to dwell within me. I apologize to Heavenly Father but I’m really only hurting myself. I pray for help to stop hurting myself and it seems as though those prayers go unanswered.
How do I repent so that I feel it and have that change of perception you talk about? I partake of the sacrament but still I am left numb by the adversary, unable to feel the Spirit and God’s love. I know the adversary has me bound but I can’t seem to escape.
I don’t feel like I know God anymore. I don’t feel the light flowing through me. I don’t feel the bright countenance so many have seen in me and I’m worried that it’s lost forever. I want to be one with Him. I want to shun the promptings from dark sources but I have been stuck. I feel lost and void of any spirit.
When I read this post something touches me and I don’t know how to harness that feeling on my own.
I have thought about this post so many times since I first read it. I have tried to understand as I have struggled with the feelings of repentance, and feelings of worthiness. I think that so many times we feel repentance as a punishment because there is so much pain that goes with it. The Lord even asks for a "broken heart and contrite spirit". We know that when Christ was in the Garden and took on the sins of the World it caused him even the greatest to suffer. He even at one point asked our Heavenly Father "let it pass". But, then, even the Savior, had to say "nevertheless", it's not my will but yours. One of the hardest things we will learn in this life is to "submit" ourselves to his will.
I am not saying that I am the best example when it comes to repentance, but I am finding, that I do have to repent every day. And to be honest, there are days where I don't feel worthy of the spirit.
I teach Sunday School in my ward and I tell my teenagers all the time, there is no wrong answer in the scriptures. Each person is different, and I could read a scripture and receive a totally different meaning than the next person. Just like in this post, you don't truly receive the "fresh view" until after you have gone thru the repentance process.
As I read this post and tried to understand it thru my own heart, and then the comment that followed, I wondered, what could I share that would build on the spirit. The story that comes into my mind is when Christ is walking thru "throngs" of people with his disciples. And a woman with an "issue" pressed thru the crowd and only wished to touch his robes. She knew that if she could just touch his robes she would be healed. There were people all around him, and Christ felt of this woman's Faith because he felt that power transfer to the woman, and he desired to know who touched him. Christ asked his apostles "who touched my clothes?" His apostles, looking all around thought there are people all around us, anyone could have touched you. The woman, feeling shame, said it was her. And then you hear Christ say to her "thy faith hath made thee whole."
That is when we get the "fresh view". We have to repent, because this life is a "preparatory state". It may take some of us longer to receive that knowledge. And it is so hard to feel worthy, I can't tell you how many times the Sacrament is passed to me and I question my worthiness. But, I can have hope and pray that one day, the Lord will say to me "thy faith hath made thee whole."
I think I figured it out; Maybe I don't feel the spirit because I feel very lonely in the gospel. I don't have anyone to share it with and that often makes me feel sad.
Being a new convert, I don't have the stories of Christ or the scriptures readily available in my head and my heart.
When I read the words of the original post and Unknown's, I feel connected to the spirit. Having this conversation even in writing makes Christ and the gospel more real to me.
I experience the "fresh view" when I'm engaged in the conversation. When I'm alone- as much as I want to feel it, I'm alone.
I'm sorry, I know I have already commented. Honestly, it is easier for me to answer Noble Daughter's questions than it is for me to answer my own. I am one who doesn't understand repentance.
I know that I am not alone when I say this-we are taught in the scriptures that the "spirit" cannot dwell in any "unclean" thing. And, it isn't until after we repent that we get the "fresh view" that you talk of. Now, I don't blame God for my mistakes, I own them, but sometimes it is very difficult to think that you can ever be "worthy" to have that spirit.
I have gone to my Bishop and I have been told that I am "worthy" to partake of the Sacrament, but it is a weekly fight.
I have been studying Mosiah and 3:19 is the scripture that talks about the natural man being the enemy to God. The hardest thing that the Lord asks of me in that scripture is when he asks me to be "willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon" me.
I have been seeking and knocking as I have been trying to understand the things that the Lord has seen "fit to inflict" upon me.
As I read your blog, I researched the purpose behind D&C 50, the last scripture that you quote. In the section, he says that he will make "weak things become strong". And when you learn from the spirit that it is thru "light" and if it is some other way then it feels like "darkness."
As I have struggled to ask some deep questions, I want to refer back to a prior blog post-is it possible to have both "fear" and "faith"? To me it sounds almost impossible to achieve that "oneness".
I have thought a lot about my comment since I posted it last night. To be honest, I have thought about deleting it several times. I am a researcher and so I searched for my own answers. Those that read this blog will certainly be able to identify that my prior comment was based off of my "shame filter". That is why I wanted to delete it. Hey, I'm learning, hence the knowledge of the "shame filter".
I went to Sacrament meeting today, which is always an internal struggle. As I partook of the Sacrament, all I could do is pray that Heavenly Father would one day make this easier for me.
When the speaker got up, she shared the following quote from Nelson Mandela, and then all of a sudden, Jade's blog post made more sense. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Remember, I prayed that Heavenly Father would make it "easier" because right now, everything he asks of me is hard. There are times where I truly do feel like I have had this mountain put in front of me. There is no way around it so I have to climb it. I can't tell you how many times where I have felt that I just can't climb anymore. Thankfully, I have met amazing people thru AAIM counseling that are facing the same mountain and together we are climbing it!
Please don't delete any of these comments above--they were all very insightful!
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