Saturday, January 30, 2010

So-called love

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness, in a descending spiral of destruction. The chain reaction of evil must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.”
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.


Today in our globalized world, there are many goods for trade: the latest hand-held scheduler that one can also second as a hand-held video game and phone, the new car with built-in televisions installed overhead so as to turn the children into willing drones, and yes there is even “love” to be purchased! I am not decrying industry; video games, televisions and the internet are wonderful tools, if used in moderation. But when industry and products act as addictions and distracters—especially when they distract from the spiritual—the outcome will always be a negative one. I have personally witnessed the destructive force of something as simple as video game acting as a doorway to destroy a marriage. Through this device, a married woman became involved with another man, with whom the couple had been “gaming” with.

The internet today is a wonderful instrument used by many to exchange goods. People will post their profile online and discuss all of the wonderful little tidbits about themselves. Oftentimes people online are genuinely interested in finding “love” and authentic love can be found through these media; nevertheless, in the vast majority of instances these sites promulgate the opposite of love: isolation.

In many ways, the concept of achieving love through the internet, phone or other designs of our technological world gives one a feeling of hope for the future of our community, for people are still trying to find love. Besides searching for love on the internet, people revel in love through watching romantic love movies and listening to erotic music. Definitely, the desire for loving is there, and with desire comes hope. However, if we do not know where to look for love or how to achieve loving, hope dwindles to extinction.

One problem with the modern concept of love is the idea that love means being loved instead of loving others. Indeed, loving as defined by Western society is a sort of loving “internal-externally,” or more properly termed: “narcissism.” One can often hear, “You need to fall into love”…Accidents do happen! But is love an accident, does love “just happen?” Of course many people attempt to help the accident occur, and they do this by making themselves attractive. And the construct of adorning a plume of beautiful feathers can take many forms: the masculine traits of achievements, power, affluence, or the feminine traits of aesthetics or adornment. As with the lone surfer of the waves of personal homepages, what wares can she or he bring to the table to attract or be loved?

If our Western world has a misconception about love, then what is that misconception: as alluded to above, the “accident” of falling in love. You know how the story goes: “Once there was a young man walking down the street, who walks past a corner market. In a rush, a young woman is hurrying outside the door who proceeds to crash into the young man. At first they don’t look at one another; he begins to help the young woman pick up her groceries which have fallen to the ground. He says `I am sorry I didn’t…’ Then their eyes meet, their hearts beat and they crash into love!”

This scenario may have happened to someone once before and there may have been a “sudden spark,” but is this sudden spark “love,” or an urge of a physical nature, less than it is a spiritual one?

Now to continue on with the story, “…The two begin to date and the sensations of passion are found in each moment that they are together, there two hearts beating as one and they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were made for each other. Their emotional bond leads to a physical one as they consummate their loving union. They decide to get married, because they are ‘soul mates.’ They live happily ever after.” Now the author’s publisher states that the first novel did so well, that the author must write a sequel.

“Part Two: After some years of love and marriage, and 2.5 children, the couple begins to contemplate within themselves, ‘I have played my cards right, I am successful in my business and hobbies, I have a good family with a good spouse, why am I lonely, dissatisfied, bored and uneasy?’ The union eventual ends, as fifty percent of current unions do, and the couple files for divorce.” The publisher does not ask for another sequel. What went wrong with this couple? Divorce is an epidemic in our society, what is going wrong in our society?

(Excerpt from my upcoming book: "Healing secrets")

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