Recently, I have met with a couple and discovered that the wife has been "gaslighting" her husband. I had never experienced this phenomenon in therapy before, and now have become very interested in it.
This is what it is: Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. It is associated with Münchausen syndrome by proxy.
Here are some examples: The classic example of gaslighting is to change things in a person's environment without their knowledge, and to explain that they "must be imagining things" when they challenge these changes. Similarly, the Manson Family, during their "creepy crawler" burglaries of the late 1960s, would enter homes and steal nothing, but would rearrange furniture to upset and confuse residents.
According to psychologists Gass and Nichols, another relatively frequent form of gaslighting occurs when a husband has cheated on a wife. The husband may strenuously deny the affair and insist "I'm not lying; you're just imagining things." Further "male therapists may contribute to the women's distress through mislabeling the women's reactions. [...] The gaslighting behaviors of the husband provide a recipe for the so-called 'nervous breakdown' for some women [and] suicide in some of the worst situations."
Psychologist Martha Stout explains how sociopaths frequently use gaslighting tactics. Sociopaths are often cruel, manipulative or conniving, and moreover are often convincing liars who consistently deny wrongdoing. When coupled with the personal charm that can characterize sociopaths, many who've been victimized by sociopaths may doubt their perception.
Jacobson and Gottman report that some physically abusive husbands may gaslight their wives, even flatly denying that they've used violence.
References:
Prentice-Hall, ISBN 0-13-074781-5, p.81.
Santoro, 1994
Bishop, Victor George Witness To Evil Pages 19,146 & 147, Nash Pub., 1972 Accessed via Google Books August 13, 2009
Gass, Gertrude Zemon and William C. Nichols. 1988. Gaslighting: A marital syndrome. Journal of Contemporary Family Therapy, 10(1), 3-16.
Stout, Martha. 2005. The sociopath next door: the ruthless versus the rest of us. NY: Random House, ISBN: 9780767915816, pp. 94-95
Jacobson, Neil S. & John Mordechai Gottman. 1998. When men batter women: new insights into ending abusive relationships. NY: Simon & Schuster. ISBN 0684814471, p. 129-132.
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