Personal Harmony

I have been pondering on what it means to live in harmony. Psychologically, the concept of harmony can be synonymous to balance, or added onto. Oftentimes when I speak of balance with my clients, I focus on the five aspects of self: intellectual, emotional, social, physical and spiritual. It is important to have balance in each of these areas of self, moreover, I have found that personal harmony is very much linked to each of these areas of self, maybe even can be conceptualized as the existential glue that works as a catalyst to more fully achieve personal balance. Living personal harmony, means to find your center. To hold that center no matter whether you are thinking intellectually, feeling emotionally, or doing physically, the center stays strong. That means achieving great inspiration but still having a firm grip on reality, grounded. That center is never missing. This idea follows with the concept of dialectics, and achieving a wise mind: When ideas become too dichotomous—black and white, or all or nothing—harmony is frustrated and balance is not achieved.

For the centered person everything becomes sacred, beautiful and whole. Whatever they are doing, they will use mindfulness to achieve focus. Nothing is trivial. A self-actualized person, a balanced, centered person, feels in harmony with everything.

A person who is content is the same, no matter who they are with, or where they are. They have the same inner quality. When meeting a beggar they are not different from meeting a king. When on stage they are identical to offstage. When alone they are no different then when they are with friends. This is the self-actualized person, they are completely natural. There is no need to pretend, there is no act to present. They practice between performances. Falsehood has no place in their life because the center is the axis around which they live their life. This includes being in pain. Can you imagine being self-actualized enough to welcome pain with the same loving kindness as you welcome pleasure—knowing that through the pain will come insight and strength. This is personal harmony.

And to reiterate, a key to personal harmony is that the person remains balanced. Their life is balance. They are never completely one-sided, they are never self righteous because they understand that everything in this world is built in duality and therefore to rigidly stand on one side or the other breeds imbalance. A person who is imbalanced will have significant swings of emotion from infatuation to resentment, elation to depression, attraction to repulsion. They may overeat and then starve. These same people, imbalanced, find extremes attractive, this is disharmony.

Balanced living is neither excess or deficiency. Neither overeating nor under eating. Never too much, never too little. Ideas center on moderation in all things. The result of balanced living is obvious. A balanced person will be at ease. Whatever the situation, the relaxed attitude will not be lost. Unconditionally, the lack of tension will stay. A person who is at the center is always at ease. Even if the death of a loved one comes, they will be at ease, their faith will give them comfort. They will receive death as they receive birth. If misery comes they will receive it as they receive joy, not discounting a season of grief, but not ruminating to excess. Whatever happens it cannot dislodge this person from their center. This relaxed attitude, this ease is also a consequence of being balanced.
Another key to Personal Harmony is the lack of tension. Lack of tension is one of the great witnesses to the self-actualized person. They are at ease, they do not get stressed under any circumstance and take all of life in their stride. Their mood changes for nothing. Nothing disturbs them, nothing dislocates them from their home in their heart, their centeredness. To such a person you cannot add anything, because their focus is on the Eternal. You cannot take anything away, you cannot add anything, they are fulfilled. Their every breath is a fulfilled breath, silent and blissful they need nothing within, except the companionship of God. This is the ultimate freedom for everything this person will do they will do out of love, kindness and commitment. There is no hunger, no desperation, no fear. For fear is the antithesis to faith.

Again, personal harmony is not only mental, it is physical. You can tell a happy person because their whole energy is centered in their navel area. That means that they understand the balance, centering techniques of the ancient mysteries. The normal person lives on the superficial level of life, out of balance and in their head. Their energy is all above their shoulders. You know it, you can feel it. When you see a person the first place you look at them where their energy sits.
Happiness can never been known on the surface. We may eat sugar, eat pasta or dance but unless this happiness is felt deeply then in the morning there is no sense of it. True life can only been known at the center. Living on the surface then only lukewarm life is possible. This is not authenticity. An inauthentic life is a shallow life. It is lived out of balance where high fluctuations of emotional disturbance permeates every event. One drama to the next. It becomes a daily routine of emotional turbulence of high and low, tension and surrender. This is a very unfulfilling existence although on the surface it may look rich and dramatic. It is shallow and in this heart and mind, there is no rest. For this person their interactions become inauthentic because they have not really lived in their true nature. All they have done is danced up and down all day giving the impression of life. Only authentic life can become authentic relationship, and anything that is authentic, is beautiful.

But to the person who is living from their heart, such arguments are trivial, they see both sides, they are aware of the totality of any particular reality. And because they are aware of the totality of any reality they are balanced, centered and unmoved by even the greatest of events.

With all of this said, keep in mind what Don Miguel Ruiz said was the fourth agreement to personal freedom “Always do your best”. He went on to say, “Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick... Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment; self-abuse, and regret”. Sometimes, we will be out of harmony, out of balance, but do your best and you will achieve balance, harmony and self and spiritual actualization.